Juz a CHAMPION sperm

2006-02-20T20:35:00.000+08:00

Arena

(known to self and others)

accepting, adaptable, calm, extroverted, logical, witty

Blind Spot

(known only to others)

able, caring, cheerful, clever, complex, confident, energetic, friendly, helpful, independent, intelligent, knowledgable, observant, organised, patient, reflective, searching, self-assertive, sensible, spontaneous, trustworthy, wise

Façade

(known only to self)

Unknown

(known to nobody)

bold, brave, dependable, dignified, giving, happy, idealistic, ingenious, introverted, kind, loving, mature, modest, nervous, powerful, proud, quiet, relaxed, religious, responsive, self-conscious, sentimental, shy, silly, sympathetic, tense, warm

All Percentages

able (8%) accepting (25%) adaptable (25%) bold (0%) brave (0%) calm (8%) caring (8%) cheerful (8%) clever (33%) complex (16%) confident (33%) dependable (0%) dignified (0%) energetic (8%) extroverted (25%) friendly (50%) giving (0%) happy (0%) helpful (25%) idealistic (0%) independent (33%) ingenious (0%) intelligent (25%) introverted (0%) kind (0%) knowledgable (33%) logical (25%) loving (0%) mature (0%) modest (0%) nervous (0%) observant (25%) organised (16%) patient (8%) powerful (0%) proud (0%) quiet (0%) reflective (8%) relaxed (0%) religious (0%) responsive (0%) searching (8%) self-assertive (8%) self-conscious (0%) sensible (8%) sentimental (0%) shy (0%) silly (0%) spontaneous (41%) sympathetic (0%) tense (0%) trustworthy (25%) warm (0%) wise (8%) witty (8%)

Created by the Interactive Johari Window on 20.2.2006, using data from 12 respondents.
You can make your own Johari Window

Quote of the day

2006-02-16T00:20:00.000+08:00

"I believe that you praise people in public; if you need to say something that's going to be critical, say it in private" - Oprah Winfrey

Somehow this quote speaks a lot to me. Sighz... maybe it's due to my stressful working environment. If I did something wrong @ work, pple ard won't hesitate to tell me off straight (loudly) in the face. Sighz.. it's tough being the lowest life form around... surrounded by more experienced and older ~~female~~ colleagues. But actually, besides being a bit blunt at times, my colleagues are very very nice people. And I couldn't have survived till today without them ard....

Basically, it's my boss that seriously need to read this quote 10000000 times !!
Doesn't she know how hurtful is it to be scolded in front of everyone...
Imagine being called "stupid", "can't think", "no cow sense" etc for a small mistake. And she does that to most of us, making us feel worthless and insignificant at ~~all~~ times. Sighz .. maybe we are really can't think...that's y we are still putting up with her.

I not stupid too !!!

2006-02-09T00:24:00.000+08:00

I love this movie. Touching n very real. Most importantly, Xiang yun (Tom's mother) reminds me of my boss, so I can really relate to this movie !!!!!
Enuff said. Sighz

btw, CNY came n went just like that. This yr's CNY was quite quiet for my family cos we were all v busy. Went for the usual visitings, did the normal stuff. Plus I had an ulcer on my tongue and a sore throat for the whole CNY hols, therefore no goodies for me this yr :(

What Men want

2006-01-26T00:21:00.000+08:00

FROM

TO

For the past few days, I’ve heard a ~~lot~~ few complains from the fairer (I mean skin colour ah NOT abilities!) sex that the main MAN in their lives is giving them tons of problems.

A classic example goes like this ………

Ger asks guy to do/buy/bring something for her
Guy agrees but feels a bit reluctant about it
Guy then ~~deliberately~~ accidentally forget about it
Ger v angry, then ~~shouted~~ said stuff like
“You don’t love me anymore!!! Don’t call me again!”
Guy sighz … scratched his head ….trying very hard to remember when he said he doesn’t love Ger before”
Guy can’t remember a thing ~~after thinking for 3 days~~ except Ger telling her not to call her again
Guy decided to be good and obey his gf’s “instruction” *fainted*

Well… Needless to say… u all can guess what eventually happened, rite? (This is just another classic example of my “time bomb theory”)

So what can be done? Should guys learn to be more sensitive n “hong” (pacify) the gers a ~~bit~~ lot more? (Heyo...stop nodding ur head, can ?)
Ya…I agree that guys should not be so DUMB unless it’s your first day on Earth ~~after 20 years on Mar~~ BUT…I think maybe, it’s time for gers to sit down and think about how to handle such a situation better too! I mean we can’t forever adopt the “It’s the guy’s fault unless otherwise stated” theory, rite?

So NOW, we shall see what MEN actually want !!!!! (yeah …finally ….a MEN CHARTER)

1) Ger should tell us what u want in a clear and direct manner. If u tell us not to call u, then we WON’T!! Clear ?????

2) If we refuse to do/buy/bring something for you, just accept it !! Unless u are willing to put down that HUGE ego of urs and whine / beg us for 8 times (after which, we still reserve the rights to refuse), don’t complain, k ?

3) Gers should only spend our $$ on things that you need. (Yes… we’re very very very sure that u don’t need 15 pairs of heels and 26 pairs of earrings …..)

4) Gers should not complain about their periods / PMS… we didn’t give you ur periods and we really really don’t understand how u feel about it. Btw, we can’t act very well… so it’s really tough on our part to pretend to understand…

5) Gers should not treat the guys around them as bag carrying slaves or walking ATM machines during shopping trips. Your bfs are also neither drivers nor doormen… so please find ur own way around and open your own doors.

6) Gers should not ask whether u all look fat or look nicer in dress A than in dress B. Come on …do any Guys look like a mirror to u??

7) Gers who don’t accept the any of the above mentioned points are insensitive, plain stupid or unwomanly. And all Guys don’t like such Gers, not even a slight little bit (unless she is extremely pretty n sexy)

8) Gers should not be petty or unforgiving....especially towards ME guys who are willing to bear their wrath and speak up for his fellow men

p/s: If there are more than 10 comments, then this Men charter will immediately be void and appropriate punishment will be given by the ~~gers~~ relevant authorities.

The most incredible e mail

2006-01-19T22:48:00.001+08:00

I just opened my inbox and saw this amazingly dumb e mail.
Who on Earth will believe this !!!!!!! *faint*

Email: peteranderssonxfn@tokyo.com

Dearest: Friend,

My Name is Mr.Andersson Peters. a credit officer with one ofthe leading (Finance Trust House) here in Hong Kong, China. In my department i discovered an abandoned funds(USD 32 M) in an account that belongs to one of our foreign customer (MR. ANDREAS SCHRANNER from Munich, Germany) who died along with his entire family in July 2000 in a planecrash. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/859479.stm

Since i got information about his death, I have been expecting his next of kin to come over and claim his moneybecause we cannot release it unless some body applies forit as next of kin or relation to the deceased as indicatedin our banking guidlings and laws but unfortunately we learnt that all his supposed next of kin or relation died alongside with him at the plane crash leaving nobody behind for the claim. It is therefore upon this discovery that I now decided to make this business proposal to you and release the money to you as the next of kin or relation tothe deceased for safety and subsequent disbursement since nobody is coming for it and we don't want this money to go into the bank treasury as unclaimed bill.
The banking law and guidline here stipulates that if such money remained unclaimed after Six years, the money will be transfered into the bank treasury as unclaimed fund. The request of foreigner as next of kin in this business is occassioned by the fact that the customer was a foreigner and an Indigene or worker here cannot stand as next of kin to a foreigner.

Your percentage will be declare to you as soon as you indicate your interest. I will visit your country for disbursement according to the percentage indicated .Therefore, to enable the immediate move of this fund to you arranged,you must apply first to the finance house as relation or next of kin of the deceased indicating.
1.Your full name and address
2.Your telephone and fax number for easy communication.
3.Your company's name and address.

Upon receipt of your reply, I will send to you by fax or email the text of the application .I will not fail to bring to your notice that this transaction is hitch-free and that you should not entertain any atom of fear as all required arrangements have been made for the movement of the money. You should contact me immediately as soon as you receive this letter.

Trusting to hear from you immediately.

Yours Faithfully,Mr.Andersson Peters.Reply me through my private E-mail: peteranderssonxfn@tokyo.com or you fax to my direct desk fax number above.

Beer n Sex ??

2006-01-19T22:22:00.000+08:00

NS defaulters

2006-01-16T23:33:00.000+08:00

Just heard from Channel News Later that the Parliament was debating about the NS defaulters. Ya manz !! This shld be done earlier !!!! http://www.mindef.gov.sg/imindef/news_and_events/nr/2006/jan/16jan06_nr.html

See what I've wrote back in Nov
http://zuj.blogspot.com/2005/11/how-much-is-that-little-green-man-in.html

Rain.........

2006-01-12T12:35:00.000+08:00

Wet Wet Wet

No money, no talk - Part II

2006-01-06T22:24:00.000+08:00

This is the second part of a series on $$$$. Please read part 1 if u haven't done so before.

Today, I had lunch with a couple of frens and somehow, we found ourselves discussing about investment. For a lot of people, investment sounds like a BIG BIG BIG word... something that only the rich and richer people can afford to do.

However, I strongly disagree !!!

Investment is about making ur money grow. If u have $1 and u managed to ~~lend it to ur fren and get $2 back the next day~~ double it, that's a very GOOD INVESTMENT. But if u have $1 and u put inside a bank and get $0.01 after 1 year, u're ~~a squirrel~~ extremely down to earth.

Gotta remember, it doesn't mean that we must wait till we have $100 000 in the bank before we can start investing nor do we have to be very ~~cunning~~ smart, sharp knowledge or a MBA holder to start investing. Actually, all we need is a little bit of spare cash, an open mind, a brave heart and lotsa of self discipline.

BUT of course, I'm not asking all of u to rush out there now and start buying every ~~4D, TOTO, Big Sweep~~ stocks, warrants, options, bonds, property. Think carefully before investing anything....and most importantly, KNOW UR OWN LIMITS !!
Everyone can handle different amount of risk ~~before they die of heart attack~~. For instance, a father of six cannot take as much risk as a father of 3 (Aiyah, joking la... but I'm sure u get my point *wink*)
And never put all ur eggs into a single basket ....unless u want the basket to break !!!

p/s: Remember.... please send a nominal fee of S$0.50 to my POSB bank account - 098-76543-21 ~~for my next investment~~. Thank you!
Shall share a bit about my tiny little bit of experience on trading in the local stock market if i see an huge increase in my bank account the next time *wink*
Lastly, I wish everyone Huat ah in 2006 !! <-- this is my fave trading blog :)

Gatherings, Parties, Outings....

2006-01-03T00:14:00.000+08:00

Hmmm.. the previous post was kinda of serious. *Pls don't be a busybody n ask me to go into the details.... cos I won't.
Dec, 2005 was a great and happening month for me. Went to lotsa of new places, met up with a lot of people and really had a great festive period. Here's a few photos from some of the more interesting places.....

The beautiful city of Shangai

Ministry of Sound - I love these optical fibres !

Christmas Party @ R's house

Christmas eve @ Settlers' Cafe

MacRitchie on Boxing Day. A Day with Mother Nature....

New Year Eve @ Swissotel. The fireworks was beautiful but sadly my phone was having a bit of problem. Think she needs some attention now :(

Yupz... Dec 2005 was indeed happening. I've left out a few other events... like watching Narnia @ Cineleisure on Christmas Day, dinner @ Secret Garden on 29/12, celebrating A's bday @ Waraku on 30/12, watching Harry Potter @ Omni Theatre on New Year Day and cycling from ECP to Expo yesterday (oppz... that's Jan, 2006 already).

Memories..................................... Special thanz to all my family n frens that made Dec, 2005 such a memorable month.

New Year ....

2006-01-02T23:45:00.000+08:00

2005
A year where lots of stuff happened....

Events ......some I don't think I can ever forget....
I hope to climb out of them and become stronger.

Decisions ....a few major ones that will shape my life...
I hope that I don't live to regret them.

People... quite a number of new people....
I hope to continue keeping in touch with them

2006
May this New Year be a great one !!

How come I don’t look like Black Pitt?

2005-12-28T00:31:00.000+08:00

Disclaimer: This post is for entertainment... if u're not entertained ~~too bad~~, please don't bash me up or send nasty comments ~~cos i don't have time to read and delete them~~. And if u don't understand what this is about.... read here. Personally, I respect Mr. Khoo Siew Chiow and felt that he did the country proud. Well done, Mr Khoo !! And if u ever chanced upon this site, I hereby offer my most sincere apologies. ~~So that u don't need to waste $$ to employ a lawyer to get me to apologize~~

Hi everyone,

You all know hor… this morning, on Klass 95 Mourning Express Show, Vernetti (yah..the babe from Under One Hoof yrs ago) and Ah Ong (u know….the one with the chio bu wife) were busy talking about me lei.
At first, I was quite happy… I mean it’s not everyday u hear ur name repeated like 10000X on National Radio, rite ??? (Wrong?? You mean u can also get them to do so?? By Paying them ?? Ohhhh.. u mean ur name is Oto… *nod* *nod*… yah la.. u win lor…they also did repeat the name Oto like 10000X…)
But then hor…u know wat… Vernetti said that my next adventure should be “Extreme Makeover” ~~cos my skin looks old n wrinkled after staying in the water for 212.5hrs~~. Cos she said … if I looked like Brad Pitt, then EVERY SILLYPOREAN will support me ~~instead of the “NOT SO NEW” NKF CEO~~.

What crap logic is that ??

If I look like Black Pitt, I sure ~~go find a pretty wife like Angel Jolie~~ become a famous movie star !! Think I still so boh liao to shang4 mountains n xia4 water meh???

But then hor… U all look at the Peanut Man from the “NOT SO NEW” NKF. He looked like me shit but ...Sillyporeans still gave him 152 days of leave n @#!#$ months of bonus. Then poor me… I only asked the Northeast Come Donate Cash (CDC) to give me a little bit of $$ ~~to buy my boy his Christmas present n a family trip to Las Vegas~~, all the Sillyporeans complain like siao. *sighz*

U all so clever… u all go climb Mount nEver Rest la. Nin Pei (Your father) here climb till almost die also didn’t complain as much as u all. Plus, now got people say I go for personal glory…buay tahan !!!! I mean of course, must let people know my name, rite? If not how??…….put ur name in the record book instead ah??

I gave up!!

p/s: Huh??…u mean my Ink-lease (English) v bad ah ? Got a lot of mistakes ?? Wah bengz .. pls la… if u spend ur whole life climbing mountains.. u think u still got time to learn proper English ??? If not, u send ur children to me…. I teach them to climb mountains… then u see whether their Ink-lease good or bad ??

Your One n Only
Chiow

Merry Merry Merry Christmas

2005-12-24T17:17:00.000+08:00

A blue Christmas tree ... I like it !!

I wish u a merry christmas
I wish u a merry christmas
I wish u a merry christmas ......
N a Happy New Year !!!

p/s: More updates when I'm back from all the parties, gatherings etc, k ?
Stay tuned ...

China

2005-12-09T21:31:00.000+08:00

You know you're IN the China when

You see this sign when u stand at the urinal ...

Giordano becomes "zuo da nu" ...

You are served extremely "healthy" food everyday ...

Suddenly, beer is CHEAPER than Coca Cola ...

The trees started to turn red ...

The silk dress turns into worms ...

k...more photos later... me finally back in Sillypore. A great trip !!!

p/s: I brought a new lady there with me. She looks great esp in black and really made my trip much more enjoyable. And most importantly, I must thank her for all these photos.

Nah.... meet my new lady.

Off to China

2005-11-26T00:59:00.000+08:00

Yupz... going on trip to China with my family.
A much needed break !!!
Bye !

How much is that little green man in the bunker ?

2005-11-23T00:24:00.000+08:00

Oh…. a Little green Man is only worth $5000??
Bloody FIVE THOUSANDS only!!
Divide it by 730 days (2 yrs), it’s only about $6.85 PER DAY!
So what if u’re a famous musician?? Does it mean that next time, when my son is 18, I can suka suka send him away and 20 yrs later, simply pay $5K to get him home to see me ??

Wah Lau ….I simply can’t understand why Melvyn Tan is let off with just a small fine. Come on… 5K is really NOTHING to him….. I think even 50K is not enough!!!
I mean many of us spent two years in our prime serving our country when we could also have ran off to “pursue his career”. We spent days in the jungle, going for days without bathing, digging trenches throughout the night without any sleep, got soaked in the rain for days without any proper shelter etc and yet we ~~complained like hell~~ simply just went through it like a real man. In fact, any ~~coward~~ NS guy who went AWOL (Absent without official leave) for even a couple of hours get DB (military jail) etc and yet this guy, who in my view, went AWOL for the whole TWO yrs didn’t even get a single day in jail !!!!

Enlistment Act (Chapter 93)
Duty to report for enlistment.10. —(1) Subject to the provisions of this Act, the proper authority may by notice require a person subject to this Act not below the age of 18 years to report for enlistment for national service.
(2) A person required to report for enlistment for national service shall report to the proper authority on such date and at such time and place as may be specified in the notice and shall attend from day to day until duly enlisted.
(3) Enlistment for national service shall be in the manner approved by the proper authority.
(4) No duty of any kind shall be imposed on a person required to report for enlistment or service unless he is found fit for service.

The punishment
Any person affected by a notice given under section 3 (1) who, without lawful excuse, fails to present himself for registration in accordance with the notice shall be guilty of an offence and shall be liable on conviction to a fine not exceeding $5,000 or to imprisonment for a term not exceeding 3 years or to both

The cross in a test tube

2005-11-19T11:51:00.000+08:00

Watched the "Excorcism of Emily Rose" last nite. Good movie, very thought provoking.
So you believe in possession ???
Personally, I've seen possession before. Though it wasn't as dramatic as the movie... it left little doubt that we aren't alone in this world.
Science and Religion ? Are they always true opposite ? Can we reconcile these two seemingly contrasting aspects of modern society ?
The strength of Science lies in FACTS while Religion builds upon FAITH. For science, what we can't prove, we can't explain and we can't accept... but for religion, there are things that we can't prove with scientific tools, we can't see with our naked eyes and YET we do believe.
Well ....that's what FAITH is all about.

p/s: The audio recording of Emily Rose's excorism was the orginal tape from thirty years ago. *scary*

Champion sperm -> champion baby -> champion person?

2005-11-05T22:51:00.000+08:00

Juz read FF’s post where she said she doesn’t wanna have little FF and little GCB. Aiyoh…wat a ~~relief~~ pity….. can’t really imagine having a few more gers complaining about how much guys can SUCK BIG TIME (hey…when read this statement again, I think it sounds a bit ~~kinky~~ weird ;P)

So what about having little “Zuj” ? Dunno lei… I m not v pro kids because I like the “DINK” (Dual-income-no-kids) idea quite a bit ….hee hee…I can imagine myself flying off every other weekend with my better half for ~~sex~~ a stroll on the beaches along the coasts of Thailand/ Italy / USA etc. Zooming around town in my dream Lexus SC430 or living in a nice posh condo (studio) unit with a nice sea view … Wow… all these “luxuries” seem only possible when I strike 4D or without little juniors that cost ard 100K each (That’s my estimate of the cost of bringing up a “talented” kid in sillypore).

But then again, I love kids !! Really… n I think I can handle them very well. I love their innocence, love the way they talk to you, love the way they smile when they are happy n how brightly their eyes shone when they see something they love.

Have 6 kids in sillypore ?? u must either be crazy or siao!!

YET, at the same time… I’m afraid of my own high expectations for my own kids. I will only want the best for them, which mean that’s a pretty high chance that I will transform into the typical kiasu parent that will buy 3 tons of assessment books to let junior do before his/her exams and constantly send junior to 8 enrichment classes a week!!

That’s my fear …..

And till today, I still consider having a kid as the biggest gamble in life !!!!
U have a lousy job…u can quit, u have lousy results, u can re do ur exams, u have lousy bf/gf, u can break up but if u have “lousy” kids …. That’s It !! Some people will say that there’s actually no such thingy as “lousy” kids cos they are after all ur own flesh n blood. But then again, wat if ur kid is a CMI (cannot make it) person…. He/she robs, steals, rapes or becomes a bloody terrorist? Or he decided to take ur $$ n spend it on his mistresses ?? He/she scolds u when u’re old, kick u out of our own house, Or he is not physically / mentally healthy (sorry.. I have nothing against such pple but I simply feel scared abt having such a kid).

So will I be ever ready to take such a gamble? Till now, I am not… n maybe that’s becos there’s no one to share this burden with me now……..

Happy Birthday to Me

2005-11-02T11:50:00.000+08:00

Counting down to the last few minutes of my birthday now. Strangely, I feel both happy and sad at the same time. Life has generally been v kind to me but yet I do feel a little bit discontented. I feel that I've accomplished almost nothing extremely significant. A couple of my frens got married earlier this yr and a couple more plan to do so next yr and yet I've not even found that someone special. A few of my peers are already climbing up the corporate ladder n yet I am still at the bottom of it.
While I whined about all these, I thank God for my health, tons of close n not so close frens, a steady and good source of income every month, a safe and comfortable environment to live in and most importantly, a blessed family.
The yr ahead will be challenging..... No one is sure of what lies ahead ....... things will change, people will change. There will be ups and downs, moments of joy and disappointment but I will continue to work smarter, love deeper, live happier and play harder ~~sleep better~~.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME

No money, no talk

2005-10-24T20:15:00.000+08:00

So, let’s talk about money!! (before u carrying on reading, pls send a nominal fee of S$0.50 to my POSB bank account - 098-76543-21. Thank you!)
Is money really important? What’s so special about it that so many people fight over it, cry over it, work like hell for it and even betray their bodies and souls because of it?
Poor people complain that they don’t have enough; rich people ALSO complain that they don’t have enough. So, in the end….. who has enough $$???

I often overheard couples complaining that they don’t have enough $$ to get married.
“No $$ to throw a wedding dinner, how to get married?”
“No $$ to go for honeymoon, how to get married?”
“No $$ to buy flat, how to get married?”
“No $$ to buy car, how to get married?”
“No $$ to have ~~sex~~ kids, how to get married?”

Sighz…No wonder Mr Lee’s hair is turning whiter everyday (btw, Mr Goh one is completely white already!) So I ask myself … is $$ really the pre-req for couples to get married? No $$ = No gf / wife???? If this is really the case, then how much is enough? 50K, 100K, 500K? *shrugged*

So do we really need money to maintain a healthy relationship? I know the politically correct ans shld be "NO, r/s shld be based on love, feelings etc and NOT money !!"
But sadly, we don't live in fairyland (where sleeping beauty zzz all day and prince charming just charms gers for a living).
For a start, I think with money... there's really thousand and one more thing that can be done to spice up a r/s.

Mr Rich Guy buys LV bag for his ger, Mr Poor Man buys LB bag.
Mr Rich Guy buys white roses for his ger, Mr Poor Man picks Ixora frm the roadside.
Mr Rich Guy drives BMW, Mr Poor Man takes BMX.
Mr Rich Guy dines at Ritz, Mr Poor Man ....(Oh sorry... Poor Man got no money to eat)
Worst of all...Mr Rich Guy brings ger to his yacht for ~~sex~~ a romantic weekend, Mr Poor Man work OT !!!

Oh. enough said... Me gotta go work for money now...Wahahahaha (So at least, next time, I don't need to buy LB bag)

For those who think I'm shallow, money minded, practical, realistic etc... kindly donate $100 000 to my account. I promise to lead a more meaningful life after I recieve the money.

SDU = Single, Desperate n Unwanted ??

2005-10-17T23:47:00.000+08:00

Came back home tonight n saw a "On government Service" letter on the desk.
"Wah ..kena sai !!! WTF !! This better not be a letter to ask me to go back for reservist !!! Shit la...wat other ~~excuses~~ reasons can i use to time to ~~act blur~~ postphone the training"
But when I tore opened the letter , I saw this ...

Dear Mr XXX

Offer of complimentary SDU membership

The Ministry of Education is partnering with the Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports (MCYS) to offer you the opportunity to join the ~~Single Desperate and Unwanted~~ Social Development Unit (SDU).

Set up to promote ~~new couples~~ social interaction amongst graduates, SDU is a one stop place for you to ~~pick and chose~~ network with over 26,000 other ~~equally desperate~~ like-minded ~~nerds, geeks, workholics~~ graduates. Its varity of social and lifestyle activities offers you an abundance of opportunites to ~~find a new sex partner~~ widen your social circle.

As a fresh graduate, you are eligible for a free two year SDU membership, with the compliments of MOE and MCYS. Please refer to the brochure enclosed for teh benefits and privileges you will enjoy as an SDU member. (KEY msg to all the Kiasu Sillyporeans --This membership is FREE !!!! If u opt out, u "lu gee" big time)

This offer of a complimentary SDU membership is valid from now till 31 oct 2005. No action is required from you if you wish to accept the offer. (KEY msg to all lazy sillyporeans -- U can continue to be lazy n don't do anything...we will still accept u as a member !) Your particulars will be transferred from MOE to SDU for processing only after the offer's closing date. Thereon, SDU will ~~continue to haress you~~ be in touch with you. (Oh F***... that means all my F grades for PSLE, O levels, A levels plus the incident reports on me ~~copying~~ sharing my fren's work and those about me ~~bullying~~ playing with lower sec boys will be handled to SDU ??? Huh.. then they gg to match me with a similar ger ?? *faint*)

However, if you do not wish to accept the complimentary SDU membership, please sign and return the attached response form by mail before 31 oct 2005. Upon the receipt of your mail, your particulars will not be transferred to SDU ~~and you shall remain single forever and die a lonely death. More importantly, sillypore will be so disappointed in u cos u failed to do ur "national service"~~.

If you are already married, esp if you have registered your marriage overseas, pls call our Hotline at 1800- 177155 immediately so that ~~your wife won't cut ur nuts n shove it down ur throat~~ we could update your records and ensure that your particulars will not be transferred to SDU ~~and you will not have any chance of finding another gf~~. If you have already signed up on your own to be an SDU member, pls disregard this letter ~~and start to be more proactive in looking for a gf~~

Please do not hesitate to email imreallydesperate@lovemepls.gov.sg or call the hotline, 1800-177155 during office hrs if u have any queries.

Disclaimer: Just kidding, k ... Dun sue me la. I promise I will join SDU and try my very best to have sex as often as possible to increase our population. But then hor, u must remember to give me my baby bonus hor, if not my factory will close shop with IMMEDIATE EFFECT.

Sick

2005-10-13T15:37:00.000+08:00

Finally decided to stay at home to ~~blog, rot and zzz~~ rest after having bad headache and slight fever for the past few days. No point going to work and feeling sucky and lousy for the entire day, rite ? Besides, I think a good rest is exactly what I need !!!! yeah... I m good at convicing myself....

Anywayz, I really haven't been blogging much for some time (Thanz to @#!@#$!@# work !!). And to make things worse, I missed the dateline for minishorts's invitation to take over her site !!!!!!!!!! Sighz... *bang wall* Okie...think on the bright side... even though I can't blog on her site, I can still blog here and ~~dream~~ hope that she will link me up.... hahahaha....

Talking abt blogging.... a couple of days ago, I saw an article on evangelism on Sandra's blog that made me very angry. I am usually a very nice and good tempered person (yah .. I know some of u won't agree... nai bei.... u dare to disagree ??!!?!?!?! WTF)
I was angry not because she rejected the guy's invitation but was pretty digusted by the way she did it. She is extremely insensitive and why did she have to post the whole incident on her site ???? (Maybe, she will be the next blogger to be charged in court !!). So I wrote an e mail asking her to take down that post or at least apologize.... but apparently, she didn't think that it was necessary. Initally, I felt that I shld be as discreet as possible not blog about it so as not to kick up a big fuss over the issue but since she's doesn't really care... I shall let u all read the email that I wrote to her.

Hi Sandra,

I read ur blog regularly and from your blog, you appear to be generally a very nice and mature person.You write very well and aren't afraid to voice ur views. Although, I don't know you personally... I'm pretty upset after reading ur last post "I'm such an ass sometimes".Yes.. u can really be an ass at times (N I'm glad you know that) Don't worry, I won't spend the rest of this email scolding/bitching/condeming you nor will I be trying to convince you to be Christian but I sincerely hope you can spend some time reading the rest of this e mail.

Jesus once said "Let the one without sins cast the first stone"

As humans, we are always self centered. We often take things for granted and complain about things that don't go our ways. We complained about the weather, we whined about our work and we bitched about our frens/enemies. You're rite when you said that this guy sins. And Yes ...Christians also need CONSTANT reminder not to take God for granted. But have you ever thought about why is that guy spending his time going around talking to people about God ? Do you think it's easy ? Do you think he gets paid for it ? Do you think he's really so bored and has absolutely nothing better to do ? It's not easy to spread the gospel. People shun you, scold you, question you etc. And yet he is only trying to share with you something that he truely believe is GOOD. And by doing that ... he is NOT selfish !!!

Maybe, you don't believe that God is good BUT for this guy...he is sharing the best thing in his life with you (with no expectation of getting anything back in return). The church is not paying him $10 per person he managed to get to church etc.....Sandra, even if you don't believe in God, there's no need to "suan" him this badly. I hope you learn to respect the views of others more and seriously consider taking down that post. There's a thin line between being mean and having your own views and unfortunately I felt that you've overstepped that line.

p/s: I don't want to comment all this on your site nor will I be putting this up on my blog as I do not wish to create more "problems"for you.

Regards,
zuj

2005-10-10T10:00:00.000+08:00

Dead TIRED

Now it's safe in Bali

2005-10-06T00:20:00.000+08:00

A conversation yesterday ...
Me> Hey.. it's very safe to visit Bali now !
CL> Why ah ?
Me> Cos the terrorists used up all their bombs already, they need some time to prepare another one mah
CL> hahahahaha.... u v bad lei ! What if they have a few more bombs hidden somewhere
Me> They are too stupid to think of such thingy.. they will use up everything they have. If they have 3 bombs, they will use 3...if they have 30, I'm sure they will use all 30 !!
CL> hey.. u racist !!!
Me> Pleaseee.... I am AGAINST these dumb fools but not against any race in particular. Come on la.. if terrorists are so smart, they won't be dumb enuff to think of such a stupid act !!

BOMB ?? Stupid fools !

2005-10-02T01:43:00.000+08:00

Can anyone tell me why are these FUCKERS bombing others ??
Don't they have anything better to do ?? Too much money or too much free time ?
How I wish I can go n shake these FUCKERS out of their little dreams....
FOOLS !!!!!!!!!

By the sea - Part II

2005-09-22T22:06:00.000+08:00

If u have not read the first part, wat are u waiting for ??? please scroll down....This post might contain words, images, details unsuitable for those below 18. If you are below 18, please click here

I pondered for a moment, giving her questions a very serious thought - Is she really the girl for me ? Will I be able to provide well for her and love her for the rest of my life ?

"So u really love me or not ? Must u really take so long to think about it ????" A sense of hurt was clearly detected in her tiny voice.

“Baby, if I don’t love you… I won’t even be here with you, right? Don’t be silly! Of course, I love you.” I said, trying to convince as well as myself. But even as I said those words, a lingering thought remained at the back of my mind. I’m starting to hate myself… Argh… When will I ever be contented? Isn’t it obvious that KT is the best girlfriend around!

“Then how are u going to prove it to me?” she challenged.

“By making the sweetest love to you? Till you can’t stand it and finally beg me to stop.” I teased.
“DREAM ON!!!” she snapped. A shy blush showed on her face and she quickly pushed me away. “You only know how to sweet talk…..”

Then just as I was about to pull her closer again, her handphone rang. ~~f*** … what a @#!%# timing !!!!!!!!!!!!~~

“Orh .. Ok ok.. I will go back soon. Don’t worry la, Ma. I’m with Z and we won’t stay out too late.”

“Ok ok ok…I will back in 20 min.”

Putting down the phone, she threw me a knowing glance. I looked at her sadly and shrugged my shoulders. “It’s alrite … Baby. Don’t be too sad. We’ll come here again, k ? Come.. let’s go, don’t let your mum get too worried.” I said, trying to brush off the disappointment of ending our date in such an abrupt manner.

To her mum, KT is the STILL her little girl. And like all parents, her mum will never stop worrying about her. In fact, during the early days of the relationship, her mum questioned almost everything that we did ~~as if I am out to cheat her daughter~~. “So where are u 2 going?” “What time will you be back?” “Who else is going there with you?” “Is that place safe?” Questions like these are so common that I even joked about presenting her mum with a 10-page detailed report together with the wet weather programmes and emergency evacuation routes and before each and every date.
Winning the trust of the girl’s parents is never an easy task (At least, for me). Hmmm…maybe things will be easier had I considered doing this when I first met her mum.

To be continued

By the sea - Part 1

2005-09-17T00:58:00.000+08:00

This is a series of short stories based on ~~fact~~, ~~friction~~, ~~experiences~~, ~~imagination~~, ~~fantasy~~, ~~history~~. This entry might contain words, images, details unsuitable for those below 18. If you are below 18, please click here

Strolling along the East Coast Park, I stole a quick glance at KT. She looked so beautiful; her eyes sparkled with happiness and a cute smile lighted up her face. Her white Mango tank top hinted the full figure beneath and the beach shorts clearly revealed her well toned legs. The warm sea breeze blew across the beach and the faint fruity scent of her favorite shampoo lingered in the air. For that moment, I was truly mesmerized.

Clear vivid images of our first encounter flashed across my mind. I remembered her sitting with her usual group of friends, on the usual 3rd row of LT 32, listening attentively to Dr T ~~(unlike me)~~. Her hair was tied up in a simple ponytail and unlike her friends, she hardly wore any makeup. And yet, she was the one who took my breath away.

“Ah Z… Thinking about other girls again, right?” She broke away from my arms and gently poked my head with her finger. Her eyes shone with a childlike playfulness and an ~~obvious~~ attempt to fish for compliments.

“Of course not!! I only think about you!” I exclaimed, while trying to grab hold of her playful finger.

“Please la… you think I was born yesterday? Why should I believe you?” She teased and made a mock attempt to hit me.

“Because ……” I turned around and held her face in my hands. Cradling her face, I bent forward for a loving kiss. Our lips touched and my tongue slowly swept along her soft lower lips. Passion, lust and love were all rolled into a single kiss. She let out a soft moan as I planted kisses on her sensitive neck and her hands started their own exploration.

Then almost as soon as it began, she stopped and suddenly broke off from the embrace. Looking at me with eyes filled with traces of doubt, she asked “Z, do you really love me? Or am I just another girl that happened to step into your life?”

~~Argh..I will never understand girls and their insecurities~~

I pondered for a moment, giving her questions a very serious thought - Is she really the girl for me ? Will I be able to provide well for her and love her for the rest of my life ?

For sure, the past 2 years and 23 days, KT and I had our fair share of ups and downs. Like all couples, we had quarrels about "boh liao" (insignificant) stuff like when we refused to agree on what to have for supper or when I failed to notice that she wore a particular dress for me. In fact, in the early days... our quarrels took on a particular pattern, which I later decided to name it as the "Time bomb pattern"

Time bomb pattern
Ger angry cos boy did something wrong.
Boy so insensitive/dense/blur/dumb that he doesn't know what went wrong
Ger decided to show boy her unhappy face and transformed into a walking time bomb
Boy scared that he might do something wrong to ~~activate the bomb~~ make Ger angrier and therefore keep a distance from her
Ger got EXTREMELY angry cos she thought boy is avoiding her ~~Time bomb still ticking~~
Boy dared not defuse the bomb cos he thought that he cannot do it well
Finally, THE BOMB EXPLODED !!!!!!

But of course, We also had our fair share of fun and laughter. KT, being such an active and interesting ger, is always full of ideas while I loved to surprise her with small little stuff like popping up at her place when she least expected it, getting little presents such as cards, flowers, jewels, ~~diamond~~. Our dates were never dull and we did the crazy things like cutting each other’s hair, walking from holland village to Jurong east in the middle of night, doing a triathlon together, ~~having sex @ orchard~~ etc.
Oppz... I digressed
To be continued ~~when I'm less sleepy~~

Some interesting Questions

2005-09-15T01:26:00.000+08:00

Questions from a chill out session at holland v today...

Qn 1) Say if u are given a choice to choose between having a good looking husband/wife OR a good looking son/daughter. What will ur choice be ? (If u choose handsome husband, then ur son WILL be ugly n vice versa)

Qn 2) If u have to sacrifice either ur husband/wife OR ur 2 yr old child..who will u choose ? (u know u can't have anymore kids already)

Qn 3) If u can change into the opposite sex for a day, how will u spend the day ?

p/s: Just got a new monitor !!

EVERYTHING

BIGGER

now

Teacher ... can I burn my friend's hair ?

2005-09-08T22:17:00.000+08:00

Was out drinking ~~alcohol~~ tea with a couple of frens last nite, listening to them share their horror stories about their students. For them, it's like ...
"SCHOOL = HELL"

Can you imagine ur student burning the hair of the ger in front of him on ur first day in school ?? Or trying to short circuit the entire sci lab with a copper wire ?? Tearing ur worksheet RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU or making a PAPER AEROPLANE with the test papers ??

"Aiyah, scold them la !! Or send them to the discipline master lor !! Punish him la!!So easy !!"

Come on .... my frens aren't stoopid... of cse they've done all these. But when u tried scolding these kids, they just shout back in ur face. Send them to the DM, they simply treat it as a good chance to miss ur lesson. And if u ever TOUCH them, I'm sure Channel News Later and our lovely Straight Times will happily show the whole Island ur lovely face !!

And on top of these problems, the school expects u to give them extra lessons to make sure they pass their exams. Plus, u are in charge of CCAs, involved in some ~~waste time~~ projects like Speech Day etc which WILL contribute to ur performance appraisal.

Sighz .. no wonder we always need new teachers.
(Of cse, not all schools are so bad .... but I can't help but feel sad for these teachers)

In an ideal world

p/s: I've deleted a few comments in the previous post to avoid causing any unecessary problems. So p/s dun kay poh !! Time to move on !!

What's so champion about a sperm ?

2005-09-06T21:48:00.000+08:00

Ah Beng A: "Nah Bei !! This week never strike 4D again ! TMD !! So suay !!"

Ah Beng B: "Ni Lau Pei 3 years never strike liao !! I also didnt Kao Pei Kao Bu ! You so angry for F*** !!

Ah Beng A: "You're rite !! If so easy to strike, Sillypore Pools close shop liao ! The CEO of Pools can go eat grass together with his turf club horses manz"

Heya champion ! Yah..that's you !! You were a CHAMPION !!
Ever wondered about the chances of a particular sperm meeting an egg ? Or thought abt the difficulties a sperm faced while making his journey up the oviduct ? Countless sperm may surround an egg at one time, yet only one is allowed to fertilize it.

So actually, our existence is the result a tiny little sperm that has successfully outlive, outwit and outswam 280 million others. In fact, it's 1000000 times easier for you to strike lottery than for a sperm to fertilize an egg.
Treasure life and live it to the fullest !!
If XX number of years ago, we managed to survive the toughest conditions and outfought our peers, NOTHING in this world can ever bring us down !!

~We're the champions~

This post is for ~~everyone~~ myself ... No matter how sad, disappointed, ugly, fat, poor ... remember we are after all champions in our own unique ways !

It's pouring ....

2005-09-04T12:26:00.000+08:00

"Sheltered in my room
Away from the gloom
Rain falling down
No one's around
Staring at the sky
Wondering out why
Heaven's so kind
Yet, Man suffer thy"
zuj, 2005

As I stared at the dark clouds forming in the sky, I suddenly felt so sad for all the victims of the Hurricane Katrina. They did nothing wrong and yet had to suffer the wrath of Mother Nature. Over here, in our blessed island, we complained about the petrol prices without much thought given to the poor Americans. The fact that our National newspaper put up a headline "10 ways to stretch your petrol dollar" instead of reporting more about the diaster merely showed us how "self-centered" Singaporeans can be. And apparently, we spent more $$ calling in to support Project Superstar than donating to the victims of Katrina.
True... we did sent a few helicopters over but that's about all we did. So can we do more ?? Or should we do more ?? I m sure the answer to the first qn is obvious. Though we are a small island, we have a kind heart. Remember the tsunami last year and how as a Nation, we came together to help the victims. But this time around, almost nothing much is being done !! Is it because USA is rich and is more than capable of helping herself ?? Or is it because USA is so far far away that no matter what happens there, we can turn a blind eye towards it ?
I have stayed in US for half a yr and that country is a indeed a beautiful place. Most Americans are warm, friendly and kind. And yet, a hurricane had easily turned the whole town upside down.
Imagine while we are complaining about how crazy is it for us to pay $2/L for petrol, the people in New Orlean watched helplessly at how the hurricane took their cars away. We whined about how much work we have to do, while they saw their companies completely destroyed. We pondered about what to eat for dinner, they have no idea when will be their next meal....
~~ So blessed is our nation that we forget about the world ~~

You bleed, I suffer !!

2005-09-02T22:39:00.000+08:00

This week is seems to be the PMS week ! My favourite beautiful bloggers FF, Minishorts, Ting are all down with PMS !!

Nope, I am not joining in the fun !! I DON'T have PMS !!! Phew ! Heng ah !!

So guys, feel safe to read this ... I promise I won't throw my temper for NO reasons nor will I ask you 10000000 times whether do you all really love this blog. (Actually, I mentioned in Ting's blog that I wish that guys can experience it once or twice, so that we can ~~feel extra horny~~ understand how the "elusive" PMS really feel like).

In fact, I m pretty sure that I m not the only guy suffering from PMS. Yah.. you didn't read wrongly... GUys DO SUFFER FROM PMS (Kenny didn't coin it as "Poor man Suffering" for no reasons, rite ?).
Since young, PMS and the period have always been a taboo subject in my family. I mean with no sisters around, you can't possibly expect me to ask my mum how PMS feel like , rite ?? I still remember my very first encounter with the menstrual cycle. (NO la !! How many times must I repeat myself !!! I didn't bleed !! You dumb or deaf or BOTH!! KNNCBB !! *sob* you didn't even pay attention to what I wrote...*sob* you are so insensitive !! I hate you !! oppz..wat did I do to you ? I m so sorry.. It's that time of the month again, pls forgive me, can ? *innocent look*)

Kk...So where was I ? Oh yah.. My first encounter.....Hmm.. that was when I was in Pri 6 (12 yrs old) and there was this particular day whereby the teacher got all the gers to another room and left all of us in the class for a couple of hours. At that time, I have no idea that there are things such as PMS, period, menstrual cycle etc. After the gers left, a few friends started to tease each other abt having to wear Kotex, Whisper etc.. and being a small innocent boy, I have no idea why is it so bad to wear Kotex (I thought it was some new brand of clothes lei ...wahahaha)
Anywayz,when the gers came back, they were so secretive and none of them was willing to tell us what exactly did the teacher told them... (Well, it's only years later that I realized what happened)

Anywayz, fast forward to 2005...being a ~~mature and sensitive~~ guy now.. I m supposed to understand how gers feel and be extra extra nice to them during this period. After all, they are going thru' all these for the sake of improving our species reproductive success, right ?? So I shall compile a list of Eight golden rules to remind myself of the things I shld do when my gf/wife/~~mother/grandmother~~ has PMS.

Rule 1: Accept the fact that everything is my fault unless otherwise stated !
Rule 2: Don't ask whether she is feeling well .....just assume that she isn't and start showering her with flowers, chocolate, soup etc
Rule 3: If she ever cries, lend her my shoulders (even if it's my favourite $100 shirt !!) and listen to her ~~whine~~ as if she is telling me the most important thing on Earth. Warning: This might go on forever but don't ever say that I m tired, got work to do or bored.
Rule 4: Tell the PMS sufferer that she is always PRETTY, SLIM and has the most beautiful earings, shoes and hairstyle in the whole of Sillypore.
Rule 5: If so suay... ever get into any argument with her, REMEMBER RULE NO 1
Rule 6: If she feels horny, let her do whatever she wants with you and tell her that I feel very very very good even if my balls are bursting !
Rule 7: Tell her that I love her ~~once~~ twice every single day of my life and buy her anything she wants. If she wants the moon, remember this website
Rule 8: If all else fail, ~~hide under the table~~ tell her that SAF last minute got in camp and you need to book in for the next one week !!!!

The Maid

2005-08-29T00:01:00.000+08:00

Went to watch "The Maid" over the weekend and I must say that it's one of the better local production around. It was a bit scary (partly cos I watched it @ midnight and it's still the 7th month). There's a nice twist in the movie and it definitely has a more interesting storyline than your typical "shock and scare" horror shows.

Plus it also set me thinking about the maids in Singapore. Living in Singapore, we often have the luxury of having a maid at home (at least, personally I've one @ home) and we often take their presence for granted.
Very often, we forget that they too have a family back home and how tough it is to spend a couple of years in a foreign land with little or no friends. They have to work almost 24/7 and live with strangers under the same roof. It's like ... when we get scolded by our bosses, we can complain to ~~the whole world~~ our family n frens but sadly, if the maid gets scolded...there's really nothing much she can do abt it. Oh .. so poor thing. I shall give my maid a ~~pay rise~~ smile tomorrow !

What can a wife do for her man that a girlfriend cannot ?

2005-08-25T02:10:00.000+08:00

Send in ur comments while I'll post mine later

To be continued

Black or white ?

2005-08-25T01:03:00.000+08:00

It all started off as a joke... a joke abt my tan look and also maybe I should consider using whitening products. Then recently, I started to realize that there is an increasing obsession with whitening cream/mask/lotion etc. Everywhere you go, be it on TV, newspapers, magazines, bus stops etc, u are bound to see advertisements on these products. Really, it's quite amazing how almost every major cosmetic brand has a whole line of whitening product !
So after dinner today, YW n I decided to check out some of these stuff at Sasa (My first visit there n I must say, it's a real eye opener manz !!). And when we were at the store, YW had this crazy idea. She wanted me to use brand A whitening product on one side of my face for a month and leave the other side as control.

OF cse, I m not so dumb !!

Experiment gone wrong !

But anywayz, what is this thingy abt gers wanting to be fairer. Does fairer = prettier ? Then what abt the Indians n Malays gers ? Do they also want be fairer??

p/s: I also came across an article on skin whitening and prejudice. Hmmm... quite thought provoking...
Here's an abstract of the article
"Equating lighter skin with beauty is a deeply rooted perception across much of Asia........For many Asian cultures, light skin historically conveyed wealth and status, while dark skin was associated with those who toiled in the fields. It is a stereotype that persists today. According to a survey conducted in February by Asian Market Intelligence, 74% of men in Malaysia, 68% in Hong Kong and 55% in Taiwan say they are more attracted to women with fair complexions. About a third of the female respondents in each place said they use skin-whitening products."

Miss.. Are u attached ??

2005-08-19T23:38:00.000+08:00

This week a strange thingy happened at my workplace. People kept trying to "intro" gers to me !! Think they are really ~~concerned~~ BORED n need a new source of entertainment !!
So throughout the week, I got qns like "What do I look for in a ger?" "Hey.. That XX ger not bad hor, why u dun consider her ?" etc
Frankly, I don't have any strict "requirements" abt gf. I mean the ger doesn't need to be the long hair-fair-slim-demure type. Having said that, looks are ~~not~~ still impt ! I can't imagine being with someone that I'm not even attracted to. (YA.. u can go ahead and call me shallow or superficial but at least, I m frank). p/s: If ur bf tells u he's not interested in looks.. shld u be happy (cos he's not superficial) or sad (cos it means that he doesn't think that u're pretty) !

Besides looks, I think character is equally, if not more impt ! Personally, I can't stand the type of gers that complain abt every thing under the sun.
Imagine a gf that goes "Dear, the sun is too hot, the air is too stale, the food is not nice, the clothes are too ugly, my legs are too tired, ~~sex~~ dinner is too boring....."
Wah.. with this type of gf, u definitely need this

Then, I was asking myself.... Do I really need a gf ??
Think the ans is " NO !" I don't need A girlfriend, I NEED ~~two~~ four !! *wink*
Actually, I think to get attached is not difficult ... it's getting attached to the right ger that's tough. Y get a gf for the sake of having one ? Isn't it a waste of both parties' feelings, time, effort n $$$ ?? *shrugged*

The real story of Snow White

2005-08-09T00:44:00.000+08:00

Once upon a time, on a tiny sunny ISLAND far far away, there lived a beautiful girl by the name of Snow White. She is ~~usually~~ seldom happy and contented even though her island had one of the best government in the world and consistently conducted three lottery draws per week.

Despite all the benefits of living on this island, Snow white had a ~~little~~ major problem. Since young, she felt that the island was too sunny and hot and she wasn't as fair as she hopes to be. And even though, her family and friends always convinced her that they will love her regardless of her color and/or race, language or religon, Snow white refuses to believe what they said.

One fine day, while Snow white was happily walking home from work (People in fairy tales also muz work..Sighz), she bumped into an old lady who offered her the best ~~apple~~ Whitening cream.
"Girl, my cream is the best around! Banga also use them and u know that Gurmee Sing... last time, he was v v dark.. u see now, even after spending so many hrs under the hot sun doing the Island Day Parade hor, he is still so fair. And he even went around telling all his friends that my cream is the best in JB and Batam lei. Plus, this cream also come with a "ruler", which can allow u to measure how much fairer u have become. Most importantly, u buy today, I can give u a 40% discount!!"

Like all ~~aunties~~ girls, Snow white is so tempted by the ~~hoax~~ deal that she decided to get a DOZEN of them from the lady. Then she went back home and immediately started to apply the cream on her face. To her horror, instead of turning fairer, her face started to turn darker.
"Oh my ! What is happening ?!! I don't care ! I ~~need~~ want to complain !!"

However, as Snow white is a ~~bimbo~~ shu nu, she decided to get the ~~dwarfs~~ guys to help her. And even though, Snow white doesn't trust these guys, she knows she can use her ~~beauty~~ charm to get them to do whatever she wants them to do.

"Hi, Mr ~~Shortie~~ Stud, this is Snow white, you must help me lei, pleaseeeeeee. I got cheated by an old lady today. She sold me a whitening cream but it didn't work at all !!!! And now, I m even darker .... how ??? Like that, I won't be pretty anymore and I'm sure u don't like to see me becoming ugly and sad, rite ?? Pleaseeee...help me ... wahhhahahha"

So one by one, Snow white called up all seven guys. And like all ~~dumb~~ guys, they readily agreed to help her. So the next day, the guys went to look for the old lady and demanded for a refund.

"Hey !" All the seven guys shouted together (cos guys on the island arent original and creative mah) "Ah Ma, you cheat $$ ah !! How can you sell my friend a whitening cream that make her turned dark !! You better refund us the money orelse, I report you to the Gahbermen... then they will take away your license and put ur face on the Channel News Later !!"

"I didn't force your friend to buy from me." The old lady rebuted. "Furthermore, I got 3 3000 kids to feed and I need to install a gold plated tap in my toilet. Now, I no $$ to pay you back !"

The guys got v v angry, however, being good Islanders, they were taught since young to behave like the NATO (No Action, Talk Only). So quietly, they went back to Snow White and apologized to her.

As expected, Snow white was furious and extremely disappointed. The actions of the guys simply reconfirmed her negative impressions of the males on the Island. She started to ~~gossip~~ share this experience with all the other girls on the island and eventually all of them felt that local males arent good enough and there is a real need for foreign talent on the Island. As for the guys, after trying so hard, they too decided that girls on the island are too difficult to please and began looking for better ~~sex~~ options elsewhere in the region.

Hence, ever since this incident, the birth rate of the island slowly decline and the islanders did not live happily ever after.

This story is dedicated as a birthday present for the Island.
All characters, things, events and/or rubbish in the story are fictitious and any resemblance to actual persons, living, almost dead or dead, is purely coincidental. So that means, dun sue me la !!
Lastly, for those who don't understand certain words in the story, please refer to mysinglishverypowderful.com

Polygamous males..

2005-08-05T23:32:00.000+08:00

Me a pig ?

2005-08-03T23:27:00.000+08:00

Oh dear... thanz to the previous post ... now quite a number of people think that I'm a MCP ! I mean obviously u got to take that post with a pinch of salt mahz. :(
Hmm.. am I a MCP ? Really, I don't think so.
Ya... I do complain abt gers at times (Well... gers also complain abt us mahz) but at least, I always treat gers with respect n do believe that there shld be equality between sexes, especially when it comes to things like promotions, legal rights, personal freedom etc.
But there are times when females, esp ur gf... should be showered with love n be pampered. Personally, I see it as a my responsibility to ensure that my family is well taken care of (both $$ n emotionally). I mean my future wife can chose to work or not and I will respect her decisions but it shld never be her burden. Oppz... Is this a sign of MCP ? *confused*

It's always the guy's fault UNLESS....otherwise stated

2005-08-01T00:29:00.000+08:00

End of a busy weekend and expectedly I m starting to dread mondays. It's just like my NS days where weekends were always so precious n the feeling of gg back to camp on sunday nights suck BIG time.

KK.. enuff of whinning !! (Gotta be a Man n stop complaining so much !!) Well..basically, it's kinda of tough to be a Man ESPECIALLY in S'pore. Recently, me went ard asking my frens whether they would like to be a male or female in their "next life" if they ever get a chance to choose. Guess wat.. most gers want to remain as gers AND most guys ALSO wanna be gers !!

Hmm.. think in Sillypore, gers are quite lucky, especially when compared to their counterparts in less developed countries. Personally, I notice that a lot of Sillyporean gers adopt a "It's-always-the-guy's-fault-unless-otherwise-stated" attiude. Let me list a few examples...

1) If we dun understand y they've mood swings / PMS etc, it shows that we arent sensitive enuff and therefore OUR fault.
2) If we didn't help them with heavy stuff / open doors etc, it shows that we aren't gentlemen and therefore also OUR fault.
3) If we didn't buy them flowers / gifts etc, it shows that we arent romantic enuff and therefore also OUR fault.
4) If we didn't send them home / call them when they reach home, it shows that we dun care much abt them and therefore also OUR fault.
5) If we dun share with them our troubles, it shows that we can't communicate well and therefore also our fault.
6) If we demand them to pay their share for meals, movies etc, it shows that we arent generous and therefore also our fault.
7) If we dun put in enuff effort in our career (earn lotsa of $$) or have a great plan for our life, it shows that we lack ambition and therefore also OUR fault.
8) If we look at other gers, it shows that we are promiscuous and therefore also OUR fault.
9) If we dun have time for our gfs / wives, it shows that we don't love them enuff and therefore also OUR fault.
10)* And finally, if we ever write down a list of all our "faults", it shows that we are calculative and therefore IT IS DEFINITELY our fault !!

Haha.. enuff said... I think guys in Sillypore need a Men's Charter !!

*btw, I sincerely apologize for my fault ! Sorry !! *wink*
If u wan to claim a free treat n see how sorry am I... please e mail me at sorryisthehardestwordtosay@gmail.com

What is there to lose ???

2005-07-29T00:58:00.000+08:00

Came across a interesting article on Sandra's blog today. This v v sweet ger was talking abt slimming Ads. (BTW, her figure is so nice that I dun think she ever needs such stuff !!)

Basically, I really think this slimming idea is quite a GER thingy...Like how Ger A will show off to Ger B that she lost XX kg n then Ger B will suddenly turn green (like incredible hulk manz !!)
AND apparently, no gers will ever think that they are slim enuff !!!! Hmm...Maybe cos they were imprinted that way back when they were in Venus....

Personally, I think for most guys ...gers are either 1)FAT or 2)SLIM
We really cant tell when the gers lose a couple of kilos (Come on..u gers already know that most guys are either insensitive or unobservant or BOTH mah !!)
For me, I can't really tell the difference between a 43Kg gf n a 48 kg one (yah..me both insensitive n unobservant, k ?) BUT if u ask any gers.. they will tell u that it's a HUGE difference manz !!! Haha...I think i can imagine a high pitch voice screaming away now... "Bloody FIVEEEEE kg ... OF COURSE there is a DIFFERENCE... u blind or wat !!!!!

From my experience, I realized that I dun seem to notice certain things on gers like for example the color of their hair pins or the color of the shoes etc. Although, I do try an effort to notice them when I was with my ex-gf cos it's supposed to make her happy....(Aiyah... i still dun quite understand gers la... it's a life long learning process for me lei). However, for certain thingy like boobs sizes.. it's a different story lei.. I'm sure 90% of the guys can tell a difference between a A cup n a C cup (Well..the remaining 10% are damm good liars lor *wink*)

Anywayz..enuff of crap for today...

Copycat..meow...

2005-07-25T21:24:00.000+08:00

Juz watched a bit of Mr N's new variety show (Yes..I know..I know.. I m too free with nothing better to do, can ?)
Wah lau !! this show is copycat manz !! Almost 99.9999% similar to the Taiwanese variety shows. Aiyoh..no wonder only aunties n uncles watch local variety shows ! Please la.. Mr N, can u be more creative ??
Actually, I can't blame him also la.. cos our ga-ber-men never teaches us to be creative mah !! I mean look at our MOST creative company lor... It's so creative that it decided to name itself Creative !!!!!

My first time

2005-07-25T20:06:00.000+08:00

Hmmmm...this is kinda of nice.. And it's definitely not as messy as some of my frens told me.
Well...who knows..maybe i might even enjoy doing it after a few more times. If not, at least now i know why so many people love to do it (In fact, I know some guys/gers even do it more than ONCE per day !!!! )